November
There is something systemic over the centuries. In division, many find power, in division, I feel defeat. I am the same woman who always wants both football teams to go to Disneyworld after the Superbowl. I am the mom that does not mind the younger kids getting participation awards for I know how much that means when it is hard to show up in this world as a child or adults.
Our awareness comes on tiptoes. My ability to decide to stay home as much as I can this cold fall week to garden, enjoy my dogs, and write. My ability to stay close to the earth and my children and consciously decide to not drive where I do not absolutely need to. I don’t take this for granted and certainly have even more appreciation as we come around the corner to 2021.
Of course, things are different this year. We have lived, read, scrolled, and felt it all. Anxiety is abound. Where we easily found comfort before we don’t. Perhaps in planning, living, and loving. I state loving as we are a country divided. For many, who we love no longer is the same soul we can connect on all levels with. Who we once found friendships toasting a Sunday brunch or long hike has strained. Even if political differences don’t exist all of us are ready with hackles up to defend. Coming from a place of defense is exhausting. It takes our joy out. It is a punch in the gut over and over. It is terribly hard for those we love and are defensive with, too.
What I do know from my defense and lashing out internally or to my sweet partner who has about had it living with someone so empathic that it gets in the way of truly functioning some days it is exhausting and I am scared.
I am scared of the division in this country, I am scared of the division in the mindfulness community, I am scared we will never go back to the good ole’ USofA I would gently roll my eyes at with country music, shit-kicking boots, and American Pride. When it was a giggle at how big our cars were and how young your country was when visiting other countries several centuries old. Well until it became fear of our reliance on oil and damage to the planet.
Where do we go when things feel upside down? When ballots are being counted by hand after most of us think we need to move on with the election results - how do we stay responsible and not involved in the media or thinking we need to “get the news”? When it comes to our mental health we just do. We are not meant to digest all that comes at us. The news now is like eating at four different fast food drive-throughs all in one night until we are full to the brim and then stopping at 7-11 for a giant chemical sugar-filled Slurpee. It is not good for our bodies. So we take a break, we detox from what does not serve us, we make wholesome meals, we support a restaurant with take out, or we bring dinner to a friend. We check in on friends. We go for long walks. We keep looking for new heart filling work, we pray (even if others say it won’t work) for the division to soften. For souls to be healed, for abundance to show and scarcity to lesson.
We make little differences where we can, we write personal notes and send sweet meaning full texts. How's your heart? Are you taking good care? We rest and then stand up for others once again. But we rest. We stop reading the news. We talk to our pets a little longer. And we try not to feel guilt for the privilege we have and the only hustle we need to find is to meet a writing deadline or getting our workout in. Above all, we refrain from lashing out, from name-calling, from posting what we would not say in person in the most intimate conversations. Quiet, loving conversations. For words can be weapons and I believe in 2020 they have sharpened to divide.
Soften, soften, soften sweet humans. For if not you, who will?
